Hello everyone,
First of all, thanks for all your patience! I’m sure many of you thought my blog was gone for sure. Hence, if you haven’t stopped by in a while I’m not surprised or offended! 🙂
As many of you know, in November of 2009 I was involved in a horrific car accident. Miraculously I was only moderately injured by fracturing my left collarbone. My dad received several internal injuries, but he’s also recovering amazingly well. Unfortunately, my older (and only) brother Chris did not make it; he was killed instantly.
This event has been devastating to me and all my family. Although we are all saddened and cannot explain Chris’s unexpected and sudden loss, we are grateful that my dad and I are still here with the ones we love. The only reason I say this is because considering the magnitude of the accident, all three of us could’ve easily been killed that night.
Meanwhile, I’ll be heading back to school today. My mom and two of my cousins will be driving me this afternoon, and I will begin classes tomorrow. I will also continue to receive O&M training to and from my classes. In a way, the beginning of the spring semester will be a new beginning for me. Although I know I will never forget Chris and the awful trauma I suffered the night of the accident, I hope this “fresh” start in school will continue to help me in coping with the emotional stress of these events.
Please check back often. Now that everything is slowly settling down, I should begin posting more frequently. As usual, this blog will primarily be about my experiences at U of I as a Journalism student who is blind.
Although I accept questions, I kindly request for everyone not to ask me any details of the accident.
The trauma it caused me is unbelievable, and I am still not completely comfortable sharing my experience with everyone. Although I will slowly share details with all my readers, I kindly ask that you just listen; I will only share the information I am more comfortable talking about. Since I tend to express myself better in writing, my plans are to someday write a book with these experiences in full detail.
Finally, I want to thank everyone who has been with my family and I in these trying moments. I would like to thank my “Tia” Berta and my cousins Laura, Patty, Lourdes, Virginia, Luis, Javier, and Nicolas, who have not left us alone and are always checking on the three of us. Thanks for your kind donations of food, and other household items — my parents and I are immensely grateful for all your help. Also, thanks to all our relatives and friends who accompanied us during Chris’s wake and mass. We never expected so many people to be with us — we are especially amazed at how many people traveled from California, St. Louis, Kansas, and even Mexico just to be with us. To those of you who couldn’t make it, thanks for your enormous outpour of emotional support — whether it was through phone calls or emails.
Also, thanks to Peggy Madera, who besides being an excellent mobility instructor, is also (and most importantly) a good friend. Thanks for being with me the night of the accident, and taking care of me while the rest of my family was waiting to hear word on my dad’s emergency surgery. I can’t imagine what we would have done if you hadn’t helped us in those trying moments. On behalf of my parents, I want to thank you for everything you did for me that night and for being my informal spokesperson (Peggy was the one who shared the news of what happened with Bryan from DRES at U of I.) From now on, you’ll be my “Tia Peggy!” 🙂
Lastly, I want to thank Bryan McMurray who was my spokesperson (and my angel) at U of I. Thanks for all your help in notifying my professors about my situation, and for helping me in so many other things. Thanks also to all my professors, my R.A. and everyone at my residence hall. I was amazed at how professionally everyone dealt with this situation. I feel fortunate to be a part of such a caring and understanding community at U of I.
Tags: Brother, Car accident, Death, Trauma
Sandra The Future Journalist 
January 18, 2010 at 18:16 |
Sandra, I have been linking to your blog frequently the past few weeks and am so appreciative that you are back writing again now. So glad to hear you are saving all your writings from this period and that you hope to use them for a book in the future. Like you, I have an easier time expressing myself through writing than doing so out loud, I have often used writing as “cheap therapy” and it works!
On another note, you are right to elevate Peggy Madera to “Tia” status, you are lucky to have her. She is lucky to have you, too. We *all* are lucky to have you, Sandra. Glad you’re back.
January 18, 2010 at 20:49 |
Thanks! I’m glad to be blogging again. Although I did not feel like blogging right after the accident, I kind of missed doing so. To me, writing is one of the best forms of therapy because (1) you can do it at any time you wish, and (2) like you mentioned, it’s “cheap!”
You know, I should’ve elevated Peggy to “Tia” status a while ago… at least I finally realized she deserves that title! 🙂
January 19, 2010 at 20:33 |
Hey Sandra! Oh my god! I’m sorry to hear about your loss!!! Your family are in my thoughts and prayers during this time. (I didn’t know about the accident over the Holidays that you experienced) I’m deeply saddened to hear about your brother, Chris. Please know if there’s anything I can do, or/and if you’d like to talk, I’m always here. You can always e-mail me (amberlgrant@gmail.com) and I’ll respond pretty quickly. That’s awesome that the U of I community is so understanding of your situation. Speaking of; I’m working on my application as we speak! I hope to read more from you in the coming days or so. Take care,
Amber.
January 19, 2010 at 21:16 |
Hi Amber,
Please don’t feel bad about not knowing about the accident — in fact, only some of my readers knew. The reason I did not blog for a while was because I just didn’t know how to tell you all what was going on, and it wasn’t until recently that I got the courage to post the news.
On a happier note, I’m glad you’re applying to U of I. Good luck! If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to e-mail me — murillo9@illinois.edu
I’ll definitely post more about the new semester, probably during the weekend. The only thing I can tell everyone today is that besides attending class I had about three hours of O&M training, and I still need another lesson or two to master all my routs. I’m definitely feeling exhausted by now! 🙂
January 20, 2010 at 01:31 |
Hey Sandra! Oh that’s totally understandable, I don’t think I would have been able to blog about something that tromatic as that either. Wow, that’s a lot of O*M training, wow!! lol. I’ve had my fair share of O*M training as well. And since I’ve moved back home to attend the community college for this Semester, I definitely needed it cause of a new campus, and all, but then hopefully going to U of I in the fall; it’s been difficult, cause I’ve pretty much been living at home again when I’ve been gone for 2 and a half years, and I start classes tomorrow. I left the University that I was at cause they weren’t getting me the services that I needed, and they didn’t have a socialwork program or the major, so I’m now at the community college for a semester. It’s only 4 months, I think I’ll be okay. Aww, thanks! I’ll need all the luck I can get with the U of I application!!!!!!! (actually, I’ve been working on the Socialwork application) because that’s due like really soon, so I’m currently vollunteering at a few places in my area to get 50 hours, so that by the time I’m hopefully accepted, I’ll already have that done!! I’m also working on the regular application as well. And I’ll definitely e-mail you if I have any questions! Thanks so much, and I look forward to reading more of your blog. Again, I’m deeply sorry to hear about your loss, and my prayers are with you and your family at this time.
Take care,
Amber.
January 21, 2010 at 16:35 |
Sandra, I can’t begon to explain the shock that registered when I read your blog. My heartfelt sympathy, and fervent prayers are extended to you and your family. the peaceful repose of Chris’s soul is now a part of my daily litany.
Jack
January 22, 2010 at 11:08 |
Hi Jack,
Thanks for your kind words and prayers. We’re all still in shock. You know, yesterday afternoon after I called my parents I began thinking about all we’ve gone through, and I still can’t believe Chris is gone. By the middle of last semester I would only talk to him once every week, or every other week. Sometimes when I called home in the afternoon he would be the one who answered. I ocasionally still think that maybe, just maybe he’ll answer one of these days, but I know it will never happen.
The reason we’re all still in shock is because of how suddenly he passed away. I think that if, for instance, he had had a terminal illness, we would have been prepared for his death. It is amazing how our lives can change in one second — literally thanks to the careless drivers that are out there (we found out later that the semitruck driver who crashed into us from behind was asleep while driving.)
January 23, 2010 at 15:56 |
HI Sandra, I am pleased to see you are writing again. Mostly because you are such an elquent writer. I think expressing your thoughts through writing is very cathartic, regardless of whether or not you choose to share those thoughts with others.
I am eager to hear about this semester, especially your swim class. Yesterday I was feeling the cold wind as I when from school to school. Then I thought of you being in a nice warm pool. I was envious.
Thanks for my new title. Yours is a great family to be part of, especially with all those good cooks. Keep writing.
Tia Peggy
January 24, 2010 at 05:54 |
Sandra, not sure if you know this about me, but I swim just about every other day. And know where I learned how to swim? At a class at U of I!
August 4, 2010 at 16:17 |
[…] has been understandably reluctant to talk about the accident with outsiders. She published one blog post in January to let people know her father was recovering well and to thank those who had helped her family […]